


plain shredded wheat and pizza

by ssatine



Series: that's rich (pun intended) [1]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, just richie and eddie being very gaaaaaaaay, theres lots of swearing in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-01 22:59:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12714540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssatine/pseuds/ssatine
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak is so very short, which proves to be a nuisance (as always) when some idiot decides to put his favourite cereal on the top shelf.  Luckily, local Tall Man Richie Tozier is around to help him out.





	plain shredded wheat and pizza

Richie Tozier was not a morning person, not in the slightest.  Frankly, he didn't understand why humanity had collectively decided that waking up at ungodly hours should be the norm.  If the sun wasn't up, why should he be?  That's what Richie thought, at least.  Obviously, the people who had decided that his class would begin at 8:30 thought otherwise.  Well, fuck them.  And fuck the sun for getting to sleep in when Richie didn't.

So, it was with bitterness plaguing his soul that he trudged over to the commununal kitchen his dorm floor shared.  His glasses pushed up against his forehead as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.  Richie looked like he had just rolled out of bed, _which he had_ , as he was still wearing his pajamas (which were really just old sweats and a band t-shirt he had picked up off his floor to throw on, because even though he preferred sleeping shirtless, he also preferred not letting just any rando in his dorm get a good look at his delectable abs, or lack thereof) and his thick curls were so out of place they looked like a piece of abstract art on his head.  _Fuck it_ , Richie thought.  Truly, he could not care less about how he looked to others.  He stopped caring about what insignificant people thought of him a long, long time ago.  He had also realized that those who thought badly of him were, incidentally, insignificant people. 

Richie's introspection was cut short when he reached the kitchen.  The kitchen itself was unremarkable.  It was old and tacky, but it served its purpose.  What had caught Richie's attention, though, was the short guy standing on a small, shaky stool, trying his damnedest to reach a box of cereal that had been left on the top shelf.  

People had always told Richie that he was missing out on so much when he slept through mornings, and he had never understood what they meant.  Now, staring up at the slim figure with the tightest ass Richie had ever laid eyes on, he thought he finally did understand. 

"Dammit," the boy mumbled under his breath.  Obviously, he hadn't noticed that there was another person in the kitchen yet.  "Fuck tall people, every single one of them." 

"Every single one?  Well _I'm_ in, but I can't make any promises for the others."

The guy jumped in surprise, making the stool shake violently. Instinctively, Richie reached over to put his hands around the guy’s hips to stop him from tumbling down. “Shit," he cried out. “Hey, is there a reason you thought it would be a good idea to sneak up on a guy who’s standing on a shitty stool?”

Wow, feisty one. Richie was liking this ass even more. “I didn’t sneak up on you. I may be tall, but these feet can carry me as gracefully as a cat.  It's a blessing and a curse."

The boy finally turned around to face him and Richie’s breath _actually_ hitched. Fuck, he was Richie’s type _to a T_. Although he was still wearing sleep clothes, an over-sized sweater and spandex shorts (which was sexy as hell), his short, wavy brown hair had obviously been combed. Pale freckles were splattered across his face, most densely on his slim nose. Long and thick eyelashes framed warm brown irises. He was doe-eyed, which made the daggers he glared at Richie all the more adorable. “You can take your hands off me now,” he said dryly.

Oh, yeah. Richie pulled his hands off of the guy’s hips.  "That stool doesn't seem to be helping you out much.  Here, let me-"

"I got it, it's fine," the guy snapped.

Eddie retracted his hands and held them up innocently.  "Suit yourself," he said, watching with amusement as the guy attempted, in vain, to grab the cereal box.  To be fair, he _almost_ had it.  The tips of his fingers were touching the box, but all that did was push it further back on the shelf.  _Cute._   

After a minute of trying to accomplish this feat by himself, the boy sighed with annoyance and turned to scowl at Richie.  "Did you want something?  Or do you always come to the kitchen just to stare at people getting food?"

Richie laughed.  "Well I _did_ come to get breakfast, but this is way more fun.  Please, continue."

The guy bit his bottom lip pensively, and Richie thought that that was somehow equal parts overwhelmingly cute and unbearably sexy.  Finally, he said, "fine."  He stepped down from the stool.  "Might as well make yourself useful then."  He spread his arms open, gesturing towards the cereal box and stool dramatically.  He looked pretty peeved.

Richie smirked triumphantly.  "What's the magic word?"

" _Jesus Christ._ "

"That's two words, actually, but close enough." Richie ignored the stool, and simply pushed himself up on the tips of his toes until he was able to grab the box with ease.  Richie considered holding it above the boy's head, just to tease him some more, but he wasn't a _complete_ demon.  So he held it out to- wow, wait a second.

"Are these _plain shredded wheat?_ "  Richie frowned at the box.  "You eat this?  Like, with your mouth?"

"No, with my asshole."  The guy grabbed the box from Richie's hands.  "Thanks," he grumbled, then promptly turned away to resume preparing his breakfast.  Richie translated this as him saying their interaction was over.

Richie shrugged.  He opened the fridge and scavenged for something to eat.   _No, no, no, God no, no...  Ah, yes, perfect._   Richie pulled out a slice of leftover pizza, and made his way to the kitchen island where he settled down to dig into his breakfast.

"Are you serious?"

Richie looked up to see the boy staring at his pizza with bulging eyes.  To that, Richie replied with, "you're asking _me_ if I'm serious when you're the one eating edible foam glass?"

The guy rolled his eyes as he took a seat.  "It has the lowest sugar content than any other cereal, for your information."

"Oh yes tell me more, my taste buds are quivering with envy."

The guy eyed him in a way that made it obvious he was completely weirded out, which only boosted Richie's satisfaction.  "Okay."  He pulled out his phone and started playing with it as he scooped his cereal.

Richie took a bite of his cold pizza.  It was tasty.  Almost as tasty as the eye-candy sitting right in front of him.  Really, what had he done to be delivered this gift of absolute perfection?  This guy looked like had been crafted with all of Richie's preferences in mind.  You know, Richie was starting to doubt that God hated gays, because if he was real then how come he was being so kind, so good, so generous-

"Look, I know I'm incredibly dashing, but could you please stop staring at me.  It's getting weird," the guy said, looking up from his phone.  He looked more confused than he did angry.  In fact, there wasn't a hint of spite in his voice.    

 _Shit_ , how long had Richie been looking at him?  He tried to pretend that he didn't feel embarrassed, pulling on a smug expression before he had the chance to look flustered.  "How can I stop when the view is so good?"

The boy instantly blushed, _hard_ , and Richie could tell he was holding back a smile.  He cleared his throat.  "Okay, weirdo.  But seriously, it _is_ getting weird." 

"Sorry," Richie said plainly, but he actually meant it genuinely.  "So what class has got you up at this time?"

"What?"

"You have an 8:30 class this morning, right?"

"Uh, no.  I don't have any classes today."

Richie's eyebrows shot up.  "And you're over here tryna conquer Mount Everest just to eat some rocks-in-a-box instead of sleeping in?"

The guy shrugged.  "I always wake up around 7:30."

Richie's eyebrows were close to shooting up off his forehead completely.  "Holy shit.  Fuck Mount Everest, _that's_ an accomplishment worth getting a medal for!"

"Do people get medals for climbing Mount Everest?"

Richie paused, then shrugged.  "Well, they should."

"I won't disagree."

"Anyway."  Richie took a mouthful of pizza.  " _I_ have an 8:30 class, which sucks _ass_."

The guy glanced at his phone and raised an eyebrow.  "It's 8:23."

"Hm."  _Yikes._   "Is that so?"

The guy eyed him up and down, but it was over before Richie had time to strike a pose.  "You're not even dressed, you're gonna be late."

"Looks like it.  Oh well."  Richie stood up, pizza still in his hands.  "That's too bad though; I hate having to leave good company."

There was that blush again, tinting his freckled cheeks.  Richie savored it.  "Yeah, I know I am," he quipped.

"If you ever need to get something that's out of your tiny reach, I'm your guy."  Richie winced.  "Just call out for Richie Tozier."

"I won't, but thanks for the offer," the guy replied, a smile tugging at his lips.  "And it's Eddie."

"Eds, got it."

"No, I said-"

"Agh, look at the time!  I'm gonna be so late!  Bye!"

Richie left, grinning to himself and thinking that, maybe, he could be a morning person after all.

 

* * *

 

 

Eddie spent the rest of his day trying (and failing) not to replay that encounter in his mind over and over again.

It had started off normally enough.  Sure, the guy was obviously hot, but he was also _fucking annoying_ so Eddie hadn't thought much of him.  That was, until the guy kept saying things to him that were bordering the lines of... flirting?  Was that flirting?  No, it probably wasn't.  Hell, what would Eddie know?  Ignore the fact that he was as gay as it gets, Eddie had never been one to attract any romantic attention in high school at _all_.  So now he was 19 years old, a freshman in college, and he had never been flirted with.  Until that morning.

 _Was_ it flirting?

Maybe Richie was just the kind of guy who was overly affectionate with everyone he spoke to.  Maybe romantic quips were his 'thing.'  Taking those thoughts into account, Eddie shouldn't make much of how Richie had treated him.  After all, the odds were that they would probably never speak again and that would be the end of their bizarre exchange...  Except that this guy lived on the same floor as Eddie.  So, in theory, if Eddie wanted to, he could see him again.

In theory.

Dammit, what the hell was Eddie thinking?  Even if Eddie saw Richie again, he would probably never be able to work up the nerve to talk to him.  Which was stupid, because the guy wasn't _all that_.  Yes, he was gorgeous, but he was also a complete mess.  Who eats pizza for breakfast and antagonizes random strangers they meet in kitchens?   _That_ weirdo, apparently.  The same weirdo who was also really attractive and actually kind of funny and had _definitely_ stared at Eddie for a moment that went on  _way_ too long to mean nothing and said that he was a good view as well as good company and-

_Jesus, Eddie, pull yourself together!_

Eddie shook his head, bit his lip, and tried his hardest to focus on the psychology readings in front of him.  He tried to focus, he really did, but mentions of Freud and Piaget and Pavlov and Erikson all melted together as the image of Richie's gentle eyes looking at him found its way back into the forefront of his mind.

_Fuck this._

Eddie slammed his book shut.

Whatever, it's fine.  It was time for Eddie's break, anyway.  In a rush, he pulled on some running shorts and traded his sweater for a v-neck t-shirt.  He would go for a run.  Runs were good.  Running was good for mood-enhancement and extending life expectancy.  Good.  Richie could suck it.

Eddie left his room with his phone in his hand, about to plug in his earphones, when he heard a voice that caused a shiver to run down his spine. 

"Oh, Eds, I don't know how you do this whole morning thing.  It was 9AM and my head was already getting tempted by the inviting embrace of the table."

Eddie bit his lip and cursed silently.  Great, _cool_ , as soon as he was close to getting this guy out of his mind, he reappeared.  The most annoying part, though, was that Eddie actually felt thrilled rather than disappointed.  Bracing himself, he turned to face Richie.  "I guess it's because I'm just that much of a beast."

Richie had cleaned up, or at least, what looked like 'cleaned up' for Richie.  His hair was still disheveled, but at least it was placed strategically rather than springing every which way.  He had changed into an over-sized white t-shirt with a vintage Disney drawing on it that was tucked into his jeans, which had been rolled up to his ankles to reveal the the long white socks he was wearing.  It was then that Eddie noticed how retro his metal framed glasses were, and they seemed to tie his whole look together.  _Ah_ , Eddie thought.  _He's one of those guys_.

Richie laughed.  "I guess you are, my minuscule friend."

Eddie rolled his eyes.  "Relax, I'm not _that_ tiny."

"Interestingly enough, that's what I told your mother on our date last night."

Eddie blinked.

Richie seemed obviously pleased with his joke, mumbling something along the lines of " _ha-ha-am-i-right-high-five_ " before holding a hand up in front of Eddie.  For a moment, when Eddie didn't respond, Richie's bravado seemed to falter.  It was only for a split second though.

Eddie settled on responding with, "wow, sorry.  I was just shocked for a second because I didn't know colleges accepted 9-year-olds."

Richie dropped his hand, but looked relieved and pleased with himself.  He pointed at Eddie, narrowing his eyes.  "I like you, Eds."

"Don't call me that."

"Ha ha, classic Eds.  So hey," Richie started before Eddie could correct him again.  He came closer, leaning on the wall next to Eddie.  They were close to each other now, something Eddie wished he could just _ignore_.  "You said you don't any have classes today right?  Well, my friends and I are going to check out this board game bar tonight.  You should come."

Eddie felt his insides churn and his skin turn cold.  Ah yes, there was anxiety, showing up right on time.  Eddie took a deep breath and tried to will it away, because he needed to _think_.  Did he want to go?  Was this a good idea?  Could he handle being around a bunch of other strangers, wouldn't that be overwhelming?  But Richie was so close he had to tilt his head down to look at Eddie and Eddie hated to admit that that was actually really hot.  Fuck, he didn't know what to do.  "I don't want to intrude."

Richie batted his hand dismissively.  "Intrude, inschmude.  We're just six people, and it's the chillest gang of folks you'll ever meet.  I know they would love you."  Suddenly, Richie's eyes softened ever so slightly.  "If you want to, of course.  You don't have to.  I'm just saying."

Eddie bit his lip, staring into Richie's warm eyes, and then counted _one, two three_ , before blurting out, "Okay.  Okay, I'll go."

Richie's smile widened instantly.  "Great!  I'll meet you in the kitchen at 7.  Be there, or be square." 

"Sure."

And then Richie was walking off.  Eddie had completely forgotten why he was in the hallway in the first place, so he absentmindedly opened his dorm room's door, but before he could walk in he heard Richie call out in the distance, "those shorts look great on you, by the way!"

Eddie felt his cheeks burn as he slammed the door behind him.     

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ooooooookay so! i started writing this because i wanted to create something short and sweet as my debut in this fandom, but being my over-achieving self, i ended up getting really invested in this au so this is turning into a full-blown series lmao
> 
> this story is part of an ongoing series called "that's rich (pun intended)" and if you're interested in seeing more of it, i recommend subscribing to it so you don't miss any updates!
> 
> ANYWAY i hope you guys enjoyed this, let me know what you think! xoxo


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